Pondering the sharing of "25 Random Facts" on Facebook

The sun is shining. It's 37 degrees. The 12+ inches of snow are starting to give way in the daylight. The icicles are melting from the tin awning, and as I watch the dog do his business from the back door I stick my bare toes into the melting drops of frigid slush. The grass is coming out in the path we shovelled so Diego could go out with out his head below snow level.

I am used to keeping a journal, writing pen to blank paper, always in black ink. Writing nothing or everything as the days pass into months. My adjustment to a blog is slow going, an internal, somewhat irrational and rather unexplained aversion to turning on the computer.

On facebook there is a tag going on, sort of like a chain letter. Someone writes 25 items about themselves, then sends it to 25 people asking them to reply with their own list but also send it to 25 people themselves. Matt thinks facebook is silly in general, and particularly this exercise, but I explained I see the point. All these connections, and how much do we know about eachother. The random status reports, posted links and videos or songs, group invitations, games to save the rainforest--but almost noone uses their notes. Almost noone talks about themselves or gives more than the briefest details about the days of their lives.

The lists vary. There are those who become rather personal and give heavy details, and those who give brief and general points.
It can be terrifying, exposing the "heavy" details to people in your electronic world, who you may be used to saying hi to, but maybe you haven't seen or spoken to them in years. How much truth do you lay out?

Being a writer can be an active bravery--to let go of the truth, release it out there, and go on with your days. I have seen some send their notes only to erase them and start over, maybe fearing that the intimate facts they listed are just to intimate to really let people know.

I wrote mine twice. The first time they evaporated into blackness when I hit post on my father's mac and the connection broke down. I wrote them a second time, a week later when I felt up to the task again. It is not an easy task, breaking out 25 pieces of who you are and typing them out to give to a world of friends who are mainly strangers. I sent it, without a real reread, just a quick check for spelling. I didn't want to get chicken by thinking about them too much. As is, it was a long process, a good two hours of thinking of what to say and how to say it.

I received a few comments already, one of which said it was very brave of me to send them. Bravery, it made me think, what did I really write, what did I really say, what picture of myself did I create?

I reread the notes today, and I noticed that many of the facts I posted were very heavy, and maybe things that people usually think of as secrets, things that we don't talk about in regular conversation--but then, that was the point, wasn't it? This year has brought so many changes in my life, good and bad, and some very difficult. These are the details that would have come up in conversations, that do come up, when I sit and chat and linger with and befriend. The facts are not the whole me, but elements of myself that have made me who I am. While one person tells me it is brave (someone who knows me more than the others on my send list) I could get nervous, I could freak out and worry that I shared too much. But I am a writer, and I am not afraid to put the details out there and then let them go, and perhaps my doing so will help someone else feel like it is ok to open up.